Uhhhh, you sir are lame as hell!!

I don't know why, but I sometimes run into the weirdest, most moronic guys of all time. When I first moved back to Orlando a few months ago, I ran into a guy I went to high school with. We exchanged numbers, kool.

Back in high school, this dude was a year ahead of me. He was quite popular and the ladies loved him. He has light eyes, so you know the chicks were all over him always.

So after we exchange numbers, he calls and we talk for a little bit. He's all, "yea, I just moved into my own place" and he was so proud. In my head I'm thinking, "you're JUST now living on your own?!" The more we talked, the more I realized how lame he had become. He didn't seem to be going anywhere fast and I have no tolerance for dudes with no goals or ambitions. After talking on the phone a few times, I stopped answering his calls and his texts. You think that stopped him from continuing to call and text? HELL NAW! I can't understand why he didn't get the picture.

I just upgraded from my Sidekick to a Behold and forgot to save my numbers to my SIM card. And guess who calls me last night and I picked up? Yep, you guessed it :).

I pick up and our conversation goes a little something like...this:

LAD= Lame @ss dude

LAD: Hey, how ya been?
me: uhhhh, I'm good.
LAD: Why does it sound like you want to ask 'who is this'?
me: Cause I don't know who this is?
LAD: Aaaah, that's messed up! You erased my number outta your phone?
me: (Thinking, "no, I purposely saved your number before so I could ignore you). Instead I say, "no, I just got a new phone and haven't transferred my numbers"
LAD: Oh, ok. You know, uhhh, when are we gonna go see a movie or you can come to the house and we can rent a movie.
me: uhhhh, I...dont...know (I have a hard time being mean sometimes)
LAD: I can try to borrow my cousin's car to come scoop you.
me: (WTF?!) silence
LAD: We can do that this Sunday...oh, wait...I can't this Sunday, I'm gonna have my kids.
me: You have kids?!
LAD: Oh, I didn't tell you that?
me: uhhhh, no (insert screw face)...well how many do u have?
LAD: Three
me: (thinking, "three?!") oh
(and the youngest is about to be 5 months old, WTFFFFF?)


Then he goes off on this whole tangent about how females say they want a relationship, but they won't date him seriously cause he has a sh*tload of kids and doesn't have a car. Ummm, ya think? What else do you have to offer? Besides your overly fertile seed?

LAD: If we start talking, you'll see that I don't have any baby mama drama or anything like that.
me: WTF?

I don't what I did to give this dude the impression that I would be remotely interested in talking to him, but he's an idiot!

Here's the kicker:

LAD: If you can't come on Sunday, I get off work on Saturday around 10 or 11 and my boss usually takes me home. I could have him stop by to pick you up.

I think I died and went to comedy heaven after that statement. Did this ninja just say he was gonna have his boss come pick me up?! HOW LAME ARE YOU?? His @ss should be embarrassed to even consider saying something like that.

Needless to say, I politely ended the conversation. I told him that under no certain terms would I being going to his house for the first time at booty call hours, my exact words were "It ain't going down"

Can somebody please tell me what the hell is up with these dudes?

I entertained my girls with this story all day, LOL.

My prayer: Lawd, please don't allow me to meet anymore lames....I might have to cross over to the girl on girl side! NOT! lol :)